вторник, 22 сентября 2015
смешно конечно же только мне, ну так да и похрен
уже пол-часа успокоиться не могу никак =)
серьезно, ну как я раньше этот пост не видела, а?
наверное потому что именно по Хранителю velvet mace как раз-таки и не писала.. но блин! я помнила что где-то такая запись есть, а где именно... как обычно - не знал да еще и забыл
на всякий случай: там именно так все и было (в каноне) и именно так все и есть (в фандоме)
читать дальше
Oh, God, I just love how Fanon has gone amok in that Fandom. It's just so perfectly id-tastic. Now mind you the show itself was pretty brow raising in a subtle wink wink nudge nudge way, but the way it ported to fanfic is just ... wow.
( Collapse )
In the canon we have Jim the Harlequin romance cover model gruff cop with sensitive senses that allow him to smell your shampoo from a mile away, but conveniently doesn't have a clue how to turn this to advantage. At least not without the help of Blair the twink super-bright, overconfident doctoral student. Together they solve crime and have conversations like this:
Blair: Please oh please may I study your senses? And possibly also hump your leg like an excited puppy, but we won't actually acknowlege that bit?
Jim: No. Wait. I guess okay. But you are pissing me off, so back off. And by back off, I mean stay where I can see you at all times, or I'll be furious.
Blair: You are kinda giving me mixed messages there, Jim.
Jim: Just do everything I tell you to and we'll just not acknowlege that I'm creepily overprotective of you.
Blair: Yay! You won't regret this! I'll totally do everything you tell me until I see something shiny and completely forget your instructions and run headlong into danger completely unarmed. I've the attention span of a cat.
Jim: I'll loudly proclaim that I don't care while I drop everything and turn into an unstoppable killing machine to rescue you. Fuck everyone else.
Blair: Watch me adoringly try to micromanage everything from your diet to your love life! But I'm not your wife. Seriously, this is what male friends do for each other all the time.
Jim: When I shove myself between your spread thighs, grab your shoulders, and growl at you, I'm not implying sodomy at all. Passing shit under the radar? Who me?
Blair: Listen to me talk about all the girls I'd love to bone while sensuously stroking your muscles.
Jim: We are so totally straight for each other.
What Fandom did with this:
Blair: Hey? Can I study your senses for the good of mankind and my doctoral thesis?
Jim: LOL. Like I'll give you a choice. Of course you can, just like you can take off all your clothes and bend over that table while I fuck you and permanently bind your brain to mine. It's like marriage, only more psychic, hormonal, and involuntary.
Blair: D: um... And if I don't?
Jim: I'll turn into a psychotic animal who will hunt you down. Oh, and I have the law on my side. I'm also not adverse to tying you up, just so long as I get to bone you at some point.
Blair: Wow. This is the worst doctoral thesis idea in the history of doctoral thesis-es.
Jim: No kidding. Well, it's not like I wanted to be turned into a superman with no moral compass or self-control. I was just born that way. Just as you were born to be my fuck-buddy and houseslave. Now stand still while I get high sniffing your armpits.
Blair: Hoo, hoo, ha! Tickles! So what happens if we try to take it slow. You know. Maybe date a bit? Get to know each other? Maybe let you masturbate with my dirty laundry for a bit first?
Jim: You'll probably end up being kidnapped and raped by some other sentinel.
Blair: Wait. Other sentinel? Are you saying there are bunches of others? How common are you?
Jim: Oh god, there are tons of sentinels. It's really a wonder you haven't run into one already. And by the way they are all after your ass. Stay safe and choose me. I won't beat you nearly as much as the others. <3
Blair: Well I feel loved! (с) velvet_mace, 2012блииин
особенно ЛАЙК АЙ ГИВ Ю Э ЧОЙС
и ВЕЛЛ АЙ ФИЛ ЛАВД
@темы:
позитивЧЕГ,
шиZZоид,
чистое, незамутненное мыслями, сознание человеков вокруг меня,
пиздец - это не слово, это смысл жизни,
фандом форева